I just feel so off right now and it just came out of nowhere. I don’t even understand why though, I have had the most amazing amazing weekend. I guess its just the overwhelming feeling that I am getting, knowing who I am and what I am. Its like you have all this doubt and questions in your head and then out of nowhere things just work out and you realize everything you have been feeling has been real.I don’t even know why I am posting this, I should be studying right now. But i know I wont be able to focus. I hate that. How I obsess over thoughts and feelings. I am so tired. I haven’t slept more than five hours a night in god knows how long. Last  night and this morning felt to right and its been the first time in a while that I haven’t wished that I was “normal,” but then again what does that even really mean. I really never want to go back to that place I was at in December. I never again want to wish that I didn’t have the feelings I that I do. I need to fully accept myself. My friends already do. Why cant I. 

I want to go to a place where I can just be me and not have to hide from anyone or anything. I want the day to come were I am confident enough to tell everyone who this person is. It is not that I seek approval I just know that not many will understand. But ill get there. 

I want to feel the warmth of your kiss, The sincerity of your “I miss you,” The honesty in your sentences, and trust, I crave a trust which has now dissipated away like the changing tide that teases the shore each morning.

I dream of one day living in an apartment that over looks central park. I spend all summer looking up at the buildings strategically choosing which one I would like lol.. Dream big right?

Microbiology killing my brain cells

One of the worst things I’ve ever done has been to give my tumblr to people I knew when I first got it that mean absolutely nothing to me now. It’s hard when i am trying to come to terms with who I am and I get idiots who clearly personally know me, asking me shit that is none of their damn business. This should be a place of refuge for me , and its not, because anytime I say something personal you all come along and ask me things that you would only know if you knew me in high school. i shouldn’t have to hide who i am or what i do. There is a huge probability that I will be deactivating this account and starting a new one.

Last night I had a dream I had sex with this chick I have in every single one of my classes. It is awfully strange due to the fact that I have never spoken one word to her. We’ve shared a glance or too but nothing past that. It was really strange seeing her walk into my class over and over. I kinda felt that whole “I’ve seen you naked thing” even though I technically didn’t lol . Maybe I should go up to her and be like oh hey I had sex with you in my dreams last night?? but not really lol dlfkajds;flkj ramblinngg onn. 

Dinner for the tenth time this week lol

Some girl “accidentally” groped my ass today. I ain’t even mad.

One of the worst, most pathetic feeling in this world is when you want to desperately be with someone who doesn’t want to be with you.

I wish I had bigger boobs.. My cleavage is basically non existent 

Right now I cant think of anything more annoying than getting a hair stuck in your butt crack of vag.. Dont even deny it hasn’t happened to you …

This is beautiful

The way that the memory of you lingers seems eternal. But I can finally say that I have put a lid on the emotions. 9 weeks ago I begged the clock to turn to get to today, and now that I feel the way I wanted, I feel free, I feel like myself again.